Last night I got scared. I looked at too many pictures. I read too many posts of confused BRCA positive women trying to make the same choices I am. Of those who are in it or just past it giving advice. Telling their own experiences. Words.
Deformed. Lopsided. Rippled. Unnatural. Infection. Complications. Prolapse. Dry. HRT. Feeling. No Feeling. Pain. Time. Time to heal. Time to look normal. What is normal. I want rainbows, unicorns and fairy dust. I want my mommy. I have to remember to keep my eye on the prize. What I may be doing is aggressive. Some even say radical. I don’t have a breast or ovarian cancer diagnosis. But one day I might. The statistics make it so. This mutation makes it so. Prophylactic surgery may be my tool. To prevent that eventuality. My life preserver. Keep your eye on the prize.