Keep Your Eye on the Prize

Last night I got scared. I looked at too many pictures. I read too many posts of confused BRCA positive women trying to make the same choices I am. Of those who are in it or just past it giving advice. Telling their own experiences. Words.

fairy_dust

Deformed. Lopsided. Rippled. Unnatural. Infection. Complications. Prolapse. Dry. HRT. Feeling. No Feeling. Pain. Time. Time to heal. Time to look normal. What is normal. I want rainbows, unicorns and fairy dust. I want my mommy. I have to remember to keep my eye on the prize. What I may be doing is aggressive. Some even say radical. I don’t have a breast or ovarian cancer diagnosis. But one day I might. The statistics make it so. This mutation makes it so. Prophylactic surgery may be my tool. To prevent that eventuality. My life preserver. Keep your eye on the prize.

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